how to plan for coming out

If you’re thinking about coming out to people who might not be accepting, here are some things to help you prepare and keep yourself safe.


Everyone’s coming out story is different. When it comes to disclosing your sexuality or gender identity to family members and people you’re living with, it’s a good idea to have a plan.

We hope that the tips below can help you feel more prepared. If you’re worried that coming out could affect your housing situation, reach out to us via the live chat button.

5 tips to help you come out as LGBTQ+:

wait until you’re ready

Don’t force a time or feel pressured to come out if you aren’t ready. Give yourself time to be clear about what you’re going to say and whether you need to adapt this for specific people. Consider the best time and place to come out to your family. Wait until you feel safe.

talk to someone you trust beforehand

Get in touch with a local LGBTQ+ group, someone at your school, or someone who you have already come out to. Build up a support network that can be there for you. If you’re not sure who to speak to, there are lots of helplines and listening services.

know where to go if things go wrong

It’s a good idea to have a back up plan in case your family react negatively to your coming out or you no longer feel safe living at home. Is there a friend or family member you can stay with at short notice if you need to leave that day?

What local service can you go to if you need to find accommodation? akt can help you to find a safe place to stay. If you feel like you’re in danger you should call 999.

if you think your parents, caregivers or housemates might be hostile, pack your essentials

If you have to leave home, you will need to take some important things with you, such as:

  • Passport
  • Driver’s licence
  • Proof of income
  • National insurance number
  • Immigration-related documents
  • Your phone and a phone charger
  • Bank cards and money
  • Clothing to keep you going for a few days
  • Essential toiletries
  • Medication

be proud of who you are!

There’s nothing wrong with being LGBTQ+.

Remember that there will be people who will accept you for who you are, whether you find them in your family, your friendship group or the wider community.

You will find places where you can feel safe. Make sure you recognise how brave it is of you to come out, and that sooner or later, you’ll be able to celebrate that!